Confidence in God

This morning, I was using a new Prayer Journal I made, and I came across the above prayer, from a retreat I attended several years ago through my church.  The quote is from Thomas Merton, who was an American Trappist monk and who used Meditation and various Buddhist techniques as part of his prayer life.  When Pope Francis visited the U.S. several years ago he mentioned the importance of Thomas Merton.  His most famous work, and one I would recommend to you, is "The Seven Storey Mountain".  Anything Thomas Merton says or writes, I sit up and take notice because I know it is going to resonate with me, and I hope it does with you too.  

Here are my thoughts about this passage.  First, it reminds me of my favorite poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.  This is probably the first reason it resonated with me and caught my attention.  The prayer sees life as a journey, not a destination.  It talks about the paths we chose and where life takes us; each choice, a tributary from the main road.  It talks about how we are kind of "flying blind"sometimes; how we can delude ourselves that we are following God's will, even when we aren't but we think we are.  God is sort of like that metal piece on the road at the Cedar Point car ride that keeps us on the road even as we struggle mightily, especially on the curves and the turns.  We desire to stay on the road, but sometimes we stray off the road and need to be redirected.  

I found this prayer to have particular relevance to my life right now.  I fundamentally believe that religion is BOTH a communal and an individual experience.  We need a community of believers to lift us up and buoy us when we are down, and we, in turn, can serve as that buoy for others from time to time.  I also believe religion is individual.  We have to have an interior spiritual life that keeps us going and helps us weather whatever storms we face.  There has to be a balance.

Because of the pandemic, my ability to attend Mass has been curtailed at different times this year: first in the Spring and Summer, then a brief respite where I could attend in the Fall; and now I am back to the Winter of Discontent, with even Christmas Mass a big question mark given the infection positivity rate and numbers here in my community.  Hence, I am out of balance.  When that happens I need to remember to stay on the road, and I need to develop my interior life a bit deeper.  I need to widen the path of my interior life as the community path continues to narrow.  

As the prayer indicates, I may not know where I am going.  Seeing the end of the road is difficult and hazy and I struggle to keep the faith that I am even on the right road.  In the end though, even if I seem lost, if I place my trust in God, God is always with me and that desire leads me back to Him.  May you continue to trust in God and find your path through this difficult time in all our lives.

The purpose of education.

The purpose of education.

One of the things that seems most timely to discuss right now is education.  When we think about that topic, I often hear it discussed in a very utilitarian way.  I am not a big fan of utilitarianism.  Utilitarianism is the philosophy that espouses something (or someone) needs to be useful in order to be valuable.  When we start talking about "usefulness" in this context, such a discussion usually ends with trying to justify how education is important to people getting a job, "contributing" to society, or otherwise demonstrating that they or the subject matter involved has some kind of utility.  

Let's start with the premise that humans always have inherent value.  I think this is where the narrative with utilitarianism starts to go askew because when we go down the path of analyzing humans against a utilitarian model this brings up awkward and immoral conversations about one person's relative worth versus another's, and that leads to the slippery slope of eugenics and end of life decisions.  It also sounds strangely capitalistic by valuing a human's earning potential versus what they "cost" society.  That road goes nowhere pretty, and why for me, as a Catholic, I believe all life has inherent value because we are created in the image and likeness of our creator.  I also tend to think this about animals, insects and all life, because it all is derived from the same source: our creator.  

If we move to the domain of the Arts, utilitarianism brings about an ugly result there as well.  From a utilitarian perspective,  buildings are only valued for their function and use, and not for their Beauty (the capital "B" is an intentional ode to Plato). Utilitarianism in architecture, including church architecture, was a big movement in the 1970's, which is hence the reason why we get square, ugly cement boxes, instead of the Sistine Chapel or the Pantheon.  A beautiful piece of music or a work of art, like human life, should not have to prove its usefulness.  It is beautiful as a creation of one created by God.  Within each composition, when it is truly pointing to higher ideals,  is a spark of the divine.  Music and art education should not have to prove any utility but should be valued solely for the expression of human creativity each embody.   

So that brings me to education as an inherent good.  As I think about the pandemic and our ability to cope with it, one of the things that certainly aids that endeavor is the ability to entertain oneself.  The more things we know how to do, the more things we can do, and the more things we can teach ourselves and others.  We can also have a background of historical suffering in which to ground our own individual suffering, understanding we haven't been singled out and aren't being punished.  Life isn't always to be measured by "happiness", money or worldly success.  Happiness, as we understand it today, seems to be a feeling instead of a choice.  Maybe that's part of the problem.  We can't feel our way into happiness; we can only make a choice to try and gain perspective that allows us to see joy through suffering instead of choosing anger, resentment, jealousy and fear. 

We too often view education as a vocational enterprise, instead of a spiritual and intellectual one.  Too many colleges and universities have catered to students and parents who demand dormitories and buildings of a certain calibre, and all the amenities one can imagine.  This, coupled with a bloated administrative staff, too great a focus on sports, and too many varied degrees, has exponentially cxploded the cost of college to the point that students who graduate are over-burdened with debt, and parents are "unhappy" (there's that word again) that their child can't find a job to support himself/herself.  A university really should be a place where a student is taught to think, analyze and to learn how to adapt.  It should be a proving ground for adulthood and struggles of the intellectual and social kind; a launch pad for an adulthood in which the person will face many challenges, obstacles, hurdles, failures, and an uneven path of stops and starts.  The idea is to instill sufficient skills to learn new things along the way, analyze, think critically, and adapt.  Education does not end in a terminal degree that stops once a benchmark has been met.  It is not meant to prepare you for a job in the sense that you go through certain coursework and come out "certified" in your field.  The preparation happens not in the acquisition of knowledge, which by itself is largely fleeting and worthless without wisdom, but in the wisdom learned over the course of experiences and the time it takes to understand life.  That kind of education can't happen online and isolated, and it can't happen without discourse of a constructive kind among people of varied opinions and backgrounds.  Much like a scientific theory, dogma has be to tested against rhetoric and analysis.

We have failed students and society by selling them the notion that a degree is a means to an end...the end being career, money, and success.  Education didn't use to be thought of this way, and this viewpoint is a product of the last 40 years instead of how education was viewed for centuries.  Education was supposed to be training in thought and rhetoric, with the idea that thereafter, subject matter and knowledge could be acquired.  To put it in a modern context....education was building the platform for learning new applications as time progressed.  Think of ancient Greece, or Oxbridge, or the rise of the liberal arts institution at the turn of the 19th-20th centuries:  the idea was to turn out enlightened individuals who understand human nature and gain wisdom.  When we think of education in that context, it is not as important WHAT we study, as how we study it.  

As I begin the process of homeschooling both kids, this issue is very much on my mind.  As a result we will be focusing on literature, language, writing, analysis and critical thinking skills.  May I work to instill not so much knowledge as the process of acquiring that knowledge and ultimately, wisdom, both for my children and for me.  

It's Complicated

It's Complicated.

You know that Facebook status "it's complicated" is actually true about life and human nature.  When I think about everything happening in our world today, I think to myself that it really is quite complicated.  It seems there are two poles or extremes and the voices we hear are never in the middle, which is where I suspect many of us may be.  Somehow being a moderate, an independent, a person who sees both sides, seems suddenly to be a negative thing, when in reality, moderation, as Socrates and Plato said, should be a virtue.  After all, it is "moderates" who are architects of compromise and mediation, and try not to hang out on either pole.  

As it pertains to recent events, I think it is perfectly reasonable to be able to hold seemingly competing ideas in tension with one another.  One can simultaneously think that what happened to George Floyd was horrible and a terrible act of inhumanity, while at the same time thinking that having a police force is a generally good thing, provided that they are well-trained, compassionate, and not militaristic.  One can simultaneously think that racism still exists while still believing that most people are fundamentally good even if not perfect in every thought, belief and deed.  One can simultaneously think that President Trump is an ass, and that he botched the Covid-19 crisis and yet also think that Democrats don't have it exactly right, and that Governor Cuomo too botched things up and cost lives when he forced nursing homes to take recovering Covid-19 patients.  One can simultaneously think that the Republicans get it wrong on many issues, like lack of support for single mothers, immigration, the environment, while acknowledging Democrats get it wrong on things like abortion, completely defunding the police, and reparations.  One can simultaneously think the Confederate flag is akin to a swastika while also believing that statues of historical figures deserve context and explanation and not sent to the ash heap of history.  

Look, in this world of imperfect and fallible humans, we will always be let down if we place our faith in other humans.  Humans will inevitably make mistakes, and sometimes hold, upon reflection years later, views today we deem incompatible with our ideals and with our current view of what constitutes human decency.  It's interesting to note that as society becomes less Judeo-Christian, a new kind of orthodoxy fills that vacuum.  That orthodoxy will be more demanding in many ways than Christianity, because Christianity contains within it the possibility of forgiveness and redemption, even when one's moral failures, which are nearly inevitable for us all, happen repeatedly.  With this new orthodoxy, there is no forgiveness.  Views that were once an accepted norm  (even if objectively wrong) make historical figures unacceptable.  Much of the history surrounding those figures isn't even known by those set upon destroying their statues.  Views deemed to be wrong or unacceptable are met with a Scarlet letter, and a Maoist confessional, where no redemption is possible. Only through Christ are we redeemed as sinners each time we inevitably make a mistake and fail to love our neighbor and our God as we love ourselves.   

Maybe part of the problem is that we have embraced wealth as a societal good instead of kindness, compassion, education and true virtue.  We have strayed away from reading and studying classic human stories as old as time about the struggles of humanity that teach us what it means to be human and the inevitable hubris that comes with thinking we know everything and have all the answers.  The bottom line is that there is no way to create a heaven or utopia here on earth.  We are here to make the best of this life; to live, as  Cicero said, "the good life", but not one of unending frivolity or a "Peter Pan-like" perpetual childhood, but instead, we are called to live a life devoted to a higher purpose in which that perfect rest is attainable only in an after life where the foibles of the human condition no longer exist.  St. Augustine wrote a famous book entitled "City of God".  In that book, he drew comparisons between the City of Man and the City of God.  Only in a celestial city can we find the peace, joy, and perfect love that will always and inevitably elude us here on earth.   Life on earth will never be fair, equal, perfect or even happy.  

There are no guarantees in life and life is inherently full of suffering because of who we are as humans, both individually and collectively.  We are obligated as humans to love our neighbor as ourselves while still recognizing we are not God and cannot heal all wounds or fix all problems.  Yes, life is complicated indeed.  There is no balm for that realization but the love of Christ which teaches us that all people are beloved children of God, from the worst among us, to the very best.  We don't have to be saints to be loved; we don't even have to be good.  We are loved because we are human with all of our faults, warts, failings and ugliness.  Maybe what is actually amiss is the fact that so many don't know they are loved unconditionally.  Perhaps THAT is the message that needs to be shared, and so I will say it: YOU ARE LOVED.   

What happens when you give up Facebook

I've had a love/hate relationship with Facebook for quite a while now. I am sure many of you have too! It's a great tool in many ways for keeping in touch with friends and family. And the "Memories" feature is pretty cool in that you get a great way of remembering where you were on a given day, time, etc. It's a kind of scrapbook but one where you don't have to search your memory to remember when the photo was taken! Facebook is also a giant time suck that I really have forced myself to take stock of, and maybe the pandemic, and everything that happened since, has made me realize that I know too much about the people around me who would ordinarily be an enigma wrapped in a riddle. If I really want to know more about someone I should probably talk to them in person, or maybe I'm just not that interested in what they think about wearing masks, or protests, etc. And maybe, they wouldn't be that interested in my perspective on all things political, social, and, let's not forget, epidemiological, either. 

 Everything that has happened in the last few months has made me realize that there is very little that can substitute for an in person exchange, whether that be learning from a great teacher, in person; having a coffee with someone you are getting to know; or talking with family. Online communication gives us a false sense of "knowing" someone else. The reality is that we very likely don't know ourselves all that well because we spend most of our lives kind of running from the quiet and the introspection needed to think deeply about things. And we really know very few people well. 

 Back when I was in college, in the Dark Ages now, we had to rely on in person communication. There were no cell phones, and we only had one landline in the lobby of the floor of the dorm (eventually Hiram enabled us to have a landline in our rooms...whoa). We also had to go to a computer lab where you had to play nicely with others in order to use a computer and work on and print out your paper. We showered communally in showers not shared by your sweet little pod of 3-5 people but on a floor of 20-30 people. The showers weren't great, and they often became cold after a few people used all the hot water. We ate in a cafeteria and to say the food was substandard would be a gross understatement. There was no pizza bar, Asian wok or other tempting dishes. It was turkey broccoli roll ups and burger night and often, a bowl of Lucky Charms when there really wasn't anything palatable. There was no air conditioning, and my windows froze over with ice on the inside of the room one especially cold and brutal winter. We got through these "difficult" (really, the hashtag #firstworldproblems works here) times together and have a common experience that unites us as college graduates during the 80's and 90's. I feel sorry for kids these days who spend most of their time forming online relationships. My son, who is 15, talks to people online and recently I told him I wanted him to actually call a human being and talk verbally to that person. Even though the phone is a poor substitute for actual in person interaction, it at least is the act of hearing another voice and there is an exchange back and forth, reading the intonation of voice etc., that is required. Hopefully, in this time of social distancing, this still enables him to form some level of human interaction and relationship. 

I don't think I am being wistful about the past or nostalgic or whatever you want to call it. I know that not everything was perfect "back then". But I think there is value to having some level of a shared experience, even if that experience has variations. I also think there is some value to having face to face instruction time with a professor or teacher who cares about you and who wants to genuinely make you think. While online instruction can have some value, it cannot substitute for the in person wisdom imparted from one generation to the next. We are losing something as a society when we fail to both honor the wisdom of those who are older than we, and also when we fail to recognize the value in having interpersonal, human interaction. If the pandemic and lockdowns and zoom have taught us anything, I hope it has taught us the value of a hug, the value of a smile, the value of talking things out in person rather than shouting at one another and scoring points on Facebook, something I too have gotten caught up in. 

It doesn't seem to me it is particularly "woke" to post things on Facebook if you don't seek out in person relationships with people of all backgrounds and opinions, particularly those that differ from yours. We've lost a sense of camaraderie, of civility, of history, of wisdom and of common charity and decency in recognizing that people are different with different experiences and backgrounds. The world would be very boring place indeed if we all thought the same, believed the same, and all had the same experience. Let's remember that difficult conversations about history, race, and politics are probably best left to discussions around a table, with a glass of wine, and a good meal. If you're thinking of giving up Facebook too, I say "welcome aboard".