Perspective

Perspective.

So much in life depends upon perspective.  Perspective is shaped by so many things.  Our backgrounds, beliefs, childhood, parents or lack thereof, travel, education, health, religious or spiritual beliefs, economic status, race, ethnicity, gender....all these things shape who we are and how we view the world.  One of my favorite quotes from my favorite book "To Kill A Mockingbird" centers around the idea that you can't really judge another person until you've walked in his/her shoes.  At the end of the book, Scout observes this as she stands on Boo Radley's porch and thinks about how he saw the neighborhood, her brother Jem, her friend Dill, and herself.  Just as poignant, is the observation Atticus makes about the perspectives of both Mayella Ewell and Tom Robinson related to how each saw the other.   It's important that Atticus is the one relaying this perspective, there's that word, because as a lawyer, he has to think about every one's perspective on a given issue to really get inside the head of that person and understand what makes that person "tick".  It's hard to be an effective advocate if you don't understand "why" someone acted the way he/she did or does.  Thus, perspective is an important part of empathy for other people and their life story.

Perspective is also important in shaping our own world view, and dare I say it, our mental and spiritual health.  I am reminded of this all the time by my son Max who has a very "glass half full" perspective on his own life, in particular but not limited to, how it all relates to academics.  Let's say Max were to get a 12/20 on a quiz. Max's perspective would be that he got more right than he missed.  He would be optimistically dismissive of the fact that 12/20 does not lead to a good letter grade, by deciding that it is clear he did better than if, on the flip side, he missed 12 and got 8 right.  One is tempted to become frustrated by this perspective, and let's just say that two people in particular, his parents, have succumbed to that temptation.  However, upon reflection, one might think about how corrective one should be about that perspective because in some ways, it is rather healthy.  It is about approaching life from the Monty Python perspective of "always look on the bright side of life" and it is perhaps a healthy survivalist approach to living. Like all parenting encounters, if one is willing to learn a new perspective, sometimes the padawan can teach the master.  Maybe it is healthier to view life as essentially rosy rather than looking for all the deficiencies.

When Lydia was ill and dying, it was tempting to view things from the "woe is us" perspective, and of course, I went there.  But I didn't linger there too long because I knew it was a dangerous place to be, and if I could look at things from the right perspective, I could see that life is never "fair" and that illness, and even childhood death, have been with us since the beginning of time.  Thinking about all the parents who lost children in the Black Death, or the Spanish Flu epidemic, or Hiroshima, or Syria, provides one "perspective" that one is not being singled out for misery in life.  Suffering comes to us all in some form or some manner.  It is part of life.  Keeping that perspective allows one to stay on the "glass half full" side of the equation.

So, perspective is important in how we view ourselves and how we form empathy, and as a result it is important in  helping us get along and navigate this thing called life.  I've thought long and hard about the recent election, which to me was a very difficult election that challenged my conscience in a myriad of ways.  My perspective, my conscience, and who I voted for was unique to my particular set of experiences and values that didn't have to make sense or find a repository of agreement with anyone else except with me.  I think this election cycle was a good lesson in perspective in that not every one's perspective on life or politics is exactly the same, because as noted above, everyone is coming at issues from his/her own personal beliefs, experiences, and life circumstances.

 If we are to understand and live with one another, we have to try and grapple with understanding all perspectives and not be dismissive of any set of experiences.  I try to surround myself with friends of all races, backgrounds, religious convictions, economic circumstances, and national origins because, in part, I want to understand and be empathetic to what different people feel and think.  It's part of developing basic human compassion and as a Christian, I believe it is something I am particularly called to try and experience.  If we only view the world through myopic lenses of our particular perspective, we can never truly empathize with the very personal experiences of others, and we become cold, distant, humorless, and heartless.

During this season of Christmas, we are challenged I think to try and bring the love of Christ to others...this means stretching ourselves and refraining from judgment.  How we reach out, how we help others, is not by bringing them round to our own perspective, but embracing them with love that respects the unique Christ-like nature, or the inner Buddha, whatever you want to call it, of each person.  Christ's disciples were a rather motley crew of fisherman, carpenters, tax collectors, and even prostitutes.  Christ's perspective was one of embracing each individual person, right where he or she was.  The church I attend has a beautiful statue of Christ's Crucifixion front and center above the altar.  At the foot of the cross, are St. John, Mary Mother of God, St. Mary Magdalene, a Jewish priest, and a Roman Centurion...all of whom formed a cross section of first century Roman Judea and yet, they stood together at the foot of the cross.

May you each view the world as glass half full, and may you each reach out to embrace the other as your brother and sister.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Monica